


ohana

by maddy_does (favefangirl)



Series: Aaron Dingle Week 2020 [7]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Family Angst, Family Feels, Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, Parenthood, baby sugden dingle - Freeform, even though they're a mad dysfunctional family, functioning, i guess, the sugden dingle white barton flaherty family just getting by
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:20:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26671291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/favefangirl/pseuds/maddy_does
Summary: Just when everything seems perfect having introduced Baby Sugden Dingle to the world, of course everything starts to fall apart. When Seb starts acting strange, Aaron doesn't know how to hold his family together.
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Series: Aaron Dingle Week 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1940446
Comments: 10
Kudos: 68





	ohana

**Author's Note:**

> [Aaron Dingle Week 2020](https://aarondingleweek2020.tumblr.com/) Day 7 (18th Oct): Free Choice
> 
> big up @lizzzzoo @howellobrien and @like-the-first-time-i-kissed-you on tumblr for running this :)

Everyone says that Elise has his eyes. They’re big, blue, the most beautiful things Aaron’s ever seen.  _ She’s  _ the most beautiful thing Aaron’s ever seen. He’s still in awe of her, can’t believe that he helped make her. Surely nothing this precious could ever come from him. Nothing this fragile and gentle. But the eyes are his, unquestionably, everyone says so. Robert jokes all the time that those eyes are going to get her everything she wants in life because Aaron’s do. Aaron thinks he may be a little biased.

He spent every night the first week she was home from the hospital in her room, just watching her sleep. Watching her breathe and dream, his little living miracle -  _ theirs _ . For so long they’d tried and he’d all but given up hope but here she is. Aaron had loved her in theory from the moment the surrogate told them they’d conceived, but in practise? He feels like his heart is going to burst out of his chest. Every beat of his heart now is for this, his little family.

Watching Elise grow is it’s own kind of magic. Everyone calls her Lise, after her namesake, and she’s very much like her. Gentle, caring, kind. Aaron says she’s got Robert’s temper, though. Likes to throw a tantrum when things don’t go her way. Robert says that’s all Aaron, points it out at dinner one evening when she keeps spitting out her milk because it’s a degree too cold. 

“That’s all you, that is,” Robert teased, wiping the milk while Aaron took the bottle to try and warm it for her. (Robert’s an idiot, but he might just be right about those eyes).

She grows and other people insist she looks like Aaron. They’re wrong though. Maybe they have the same dark hair, maybe there is something in the eyes after all, but she is far, far too beautiful to be taking after Aaron. Robert calls that rubbish, but then he is an idiot. A besotted idiot.

Everything feels perfect. There’s too many sleepless nights for either of them to ever feel anything like rested, there are always more nappies to change and more sick to clean up, baby proofing the mill was a nightmare (but if Robert had just  _ listened  _ when Aaron said that that screwed the opposite way, he would have saved them a lot of time, and himself a night on the sofa). But it’s perfect, even for all the ways that it’s chaos.

It starts being less perfect when Elise turns eight months. She’s getting bigger and even more beautiful every single day. It doesn’t matter how many times Aaron tells him she’s too young, Robert is convinced she’s going to say ‘Daddy’ any day now. (“She’s going to be a prodigy, Aaron, I can tell.”) Chas dotes on her, Paddy even moreso. Aaron can’t remember the last time he came round without bringing a toy or a dress or a little pair of shoes he just couldn’t resist. Aaron calls him soft but it’s never malicious. 

Except, Seb starts asking to stay with Rebecca more and more. He can’t during school term time, but during the holidays the weeks in Liverpool can quickly turn into fortnights, and last summer he was there for nearly four weeks. They’ve asked Rebecca what’s going on, but she says that he just wants to stay. They decided when Seb was young that he would spend most of the time in the village, especially while Rebecca was still recovering, so they try and let him make the decisions for himself now that he’s older.

It hurts Robert, Aaron can tell, but every time he brings it up Robert shuts it right back down again. It hurts Aaron, too. They try to do everything they can to make Seb happy. They have family night every Sunday, treat nights on Fridays, long weekends at the beach (Seb loves the 2p machines, he’s got a collection of little plastic motorbikes from them in his bedroom). Granted, they may have been a bit neglectful recently, but money and time are both tight when both parents to a new baby work. Liv and Vic help where they can, in fact most of the village does, but they like to do things themselves where possible. And so family nights are sometimes cut short by the desperate need for bed, and treat nights start becoming pizza in front of the telly, and the motorbike collection might not have been added to in a while.

But they’ve always been open with Seb about it, even before Elise was born, that having a baby was a big responsibility, and that things would change. He’d been so excited about a baby sister (even though he’d cried at first, when he found out it was a girl). More than one of those nights Aaron stayed up to watch over her, he’d had Seb fast asleep on his knee, dribbling onto his shoulder. He liked to be helpful and take nappies to the bin - even that time he’d been a little  _ too  _ helpful and thrown out a whole pack of clean ones - and he fed her once or twice under strict supervision. It was obvious he loved her, and they’d never thought he’d minded having to make concessions now that she was here.

Elise finally says ‘daddy’ at ten months. Naturally, Robert and Aaron overreact, all but jumping for joy. Robert grabs a camera to film it and Aaron is soon on the phone to his mum, Liv, Vic. He stops short at the Hotten Courier, but only because they’ve not been too kind about him in the past. They have a take away that night to celebrate - even though it’s a Tuesday - and everything seems almost perfect.

Inevitably, of course, that’s where things really start going wrong. Thursday, Aaron gets a call from Robert saying he won’t be home until later because he’s been called in to Seb’s school about a fight. Sure it's all a misunderstanding, Aaron cooks, puts the leftovers in the microwave, and is changing Elise’s nappy when Robert walks in with Seb. They both look sullen, and Seb doesn’t say a word as he goes upstairs.

“So?” Aaron asks, between making faces to keep Elise calm as he wipes her bum.

Robert huffs, hands on his hips. “Apparently he punched this girl in his class. Wouldn’t even give a reason for it, just kept shrugging his shoulders about it all.” Aaron can hear the terseness in his voice.

“Well that doesn’t sound like Seb.”

“No, well, he admitted to it. I tried to talk to him in the car home and got the silent treatment so I told him he’s got no computer for a week and he’s got to write an apology to the girl.” Robert sighs heavily, the walks to flop down on the chair. “I just don’t get it, he’s never done anything like this before.”

“Want me to talk to him?” Aaron offers as he pulls Elise’s jeans back up, smiling down at her. She giggles up at him, wiggling about in blissful ignorance. “Maybe I can get him to at least give an explanation?”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll try talking to him again later when he’s calmed down a bit.” Robert sighs again, then leans down to pick Elise up. “But for now I think it’s someone’s tea time? Yes it is!”

“I’ve mixed the formula if you want to heat it up,” Aaron says as he gets to his feet to clean up the nappies and baby wipes. 

He tries not to let it bother him, the way Seb’s been acting, but he can’t help but feel like maybe it’s all connected. Seb does as he’s told and writes the apology, promising never to do it again, and to his credit he seems sincere. Still, he’s in a mood the whole rest of the week, and doesn’t come down from his room for family night. Robert’s worrying enough for the both of them so Aaron tries not to, tries to convince himself that it’s just a phase, that it’ll right itself soon.

Liv’s a saint and tells them both not to worry about it, that both of them were right little trouble makers when they were at school, and look how they’ve turned out! Aaron tries not to let it worry him that the way they’ve turned out is a prison stint, two years on the run, and so many broken laws they’d run out of ink trying to type out Robert’s record. 

It really all goes to shit the week before Elise’s first birthday, though. Seb hasn’t been in trouble at school again, but when Robert comes home from a parents evening that’d been pencilled into the calendar for weeks, he doesn’t look happy. Dinner is understandably terse, with Liv and Aaron trying to make enough small talk to try and cover the awkward silences. Elise’s babbling, interspersed with the limited number of words she now knows, helps. 

After dinner, Seb goes up to his room without a word and Liv goes out to see a mate, which leaves Aaron and Robert space to talk. 

“Apparently he’s been unengaged in lessons, rude to teachers, he’s not been spending time with any friends.” Robert pauses to pull a face. “I don’t understand why they’ve not told us sooner, it’s not like one of us doesn’t go pick him up at least once a week.” Aaron just shakes his head.

He really doesn’t get it. Any of it. Talking to Rebecca, he seems to have the same foul mood swings there, too. Aaron brought up therapy a few weeks ago when they were talking about it, but they felt like they weren’t quite there yet. Still, the worry is etched all over Robert’s face, and he feels it too. He just doesn’t understand how Seb seems to have undergone such a dramatic personality transplant in such a short space of time?

“Seb,” Aaron calls as he comes down the stairs an hour or so later, bottom lip still hanging so low he may well trip on it.

“I’m just getting some water,” Seb replies, snappily. 

Robert’s lips thin against a retort. “Come here,” Aaron presses, “We want a word.”

Seb huffs as he walks over, helping himself to the world’s slowest glass of water first. He stands at the edge of the sofa, by the foot of the stairs, as though preparing to make a break for it. He looks unimpressed, hip cocked, still frowning. There’s a crease between his eyebrows that seems almost permanent these days.

“We just want to know what’s going on, mate,” Aaron says, trying to keep his own temper level. He can see that both Seb and robert are close to blowing their tops, so if one person in this conversation can stay rational, they might all make it to next week. “Your school’s said things aren’t going well?” Seb shrugs, and it takes an awful lot of will power for Aaron to bite his lip. “Right, that’s not really an answer, is it. We just want to know if something’s up? If there’s a problem with your mates or a teacher or-”

“I an’t got mates,” Seb huffs. “And the teachers are all stupid anyway.”

“Right, that's enough,” Robert says, raising his voice. “Drop the attitude.”

“No. I hate that school. I don't care if they kick me out. I don’t want to go anymore. I want to go to New Park near Mum!” 

A silence settles on the room. Aaron had been worried about this, all those weeks spent up in Liverpool, the moods while he’s been home. He could see a certain inevitability to him one day not wanting to come back to the village at all. Still, he’d hoped his suspicions had been wrong, that Seb was just experiencing some pre-teen angst and he'd mellow out eventually. Or at least he’d find some semblance of the happy bouncy kid he was before.

“Fine,” Robert says levelly, surprising Aaron. “We’ll ring your mum in the morning and see what she says. Then we’ll look at the schools near there.”

Aaron doesn’t really believe what he’s hearing. They're _letting_ him leave? He goes to bed that night pretty sure that come morning they’ll have all calmed down a bit, and they can try a proper conversation again. Come morning though, as Aaron brings Elise down for breakfast, Seb’s pouting into his Cheerios, and Robert’s on the phone talking about Offsted ratings and moving vans, so it doesn’t look good. 

Aaron gets Liv to drop Elise with Chas on her way to taking Seb to school so that he and Robert can talk, but all Robert has to say is, “It’s what he wants,” with a shrug of his shoulder, as though this isn’t a crazy decision to make in a day.

By Saturday, half of Seb’s room is packed and he concedes that he’ll go to Whitefield if he can’t get into New Park. Aaron says as little as possible, trying to focus on Elise and her party and work, and anything else that isn’t Seb moving over an hour away. This perfect little family of theirs that they’d worked so hard for was falling apart right in front of him and he was helpless to stop it. He knew that if this was what Seb really wanted then he had to respect that, but he didn’t have to like it. And he still couldn't fathom it, how in the span of a few months Seb'd gone from Emmerdale being his home, to it being somewhere he was being held against his will

Two days before Seb is set to move away, and a day before Elise’s birthday, Aaron can bite his lip no longer, so when Robert’s out on a walk with Elise and Vic, he takes the opportunity to talk to Seb alone. The room’s mostly packed now, just a few things left out that Seb’s said he doesn’t want anymore. It nearly jokes him up to see all that empty space, like a life just removed. The bare blue walls, empty shelves, a dresser no longer fit to bursting with clothes. (Paddy may not have been as enamoured by the clothes in the boys' section, but Chas and Vic more than made up for that between them).

“You’re not taking those?” Aaron asks against the lump in his throat, nodding at the motorbikes on Seb’s dresser.

Seb shakes his head. “No. They’re just bits of plastic.”

Aaron had said that same thing once when Seb had lost one down Blackpool pier. It had taken a 99 and a donkey ride to get Seb to stop crying. He was happy as larry afterwards, what with at least five other almost identical bikes stuffed in his pockets. Aaron tried not to think about how long it had been since they’d had a beach day. He wouldn’t give up Elise for the world and his wife, but having a baby was no easy feat. If you asked him then, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to tell you if the sacrifice was truly worth it.

“Well we can save them here for you, if you want,” Aaron offers. He’s trying so hard not to cry, doesn’t want to upset Seb or scare him. 

“Nah, just chuck ‘em.” Seb shrugs, barely looking up from whatever he’s got held in his hands. He’s so flippant, it breaks Aaron’s heart. “You’ll probably need this room for Elise anyway, ‘cos it’s bigger and everything.”

They’d not really spoken about what they were going to do about rooms. They’d not really spoken at all. Aaron didn’t know what to say for the best, and though Robert tried to hide it behind his typical nothing-hurts-me bravado, Aaron could see this was killing him, too. It felt like there wasn’t anything  _ to  _ say. Not now, at least.

“You’ll still have a room here though for whenever you visit. It’ll always be your room.” Aaron wants to say it’ll always be his home, too, but he thinks that might be pushing it. Seb says nothing, so Aaron plows on through the silence. “You can come back whenever you want, for however long.”

“It’s a faff getting from Liverpool, Dad always says so.” Seb shrugs again.

“Don’t be daft, your dad doesn’t mind. He moans because he’s never happier than when he’s got something to complain about, but take no notice.” Seb doesn’t look convince, and that kills Aaron more than anything. He just wants to know what to say to make it all better. He goes over to kneel in front of where Seb’s sat on the bed, and Aaron realises he’s holding a family photo of them all (him, Robert, Liv, Chas, Paddy, Vic, Elise, Seb) in the Woollie, taken not long after Elise was born. “Listen to me, alright, your dad is going to miss you like crazy. Doesn’t matter if it’s an hour away or ten, he’ll be right down to get you.”

Aaron still can’t really see Seb’s face from this angle, but it looks like he’s pressing his lips into a tight line, eyebrows still, inevitably, creased. “I know,” he says, finally. There’s a pause, but Aaron can tell Seb has something more to say so he waits to let him. “I just don’t think you’d want him doing all that over me.”

And there it is, Aaron thinks, finally, what all this must be about. It punches a huff of air out of him and try as he might there are still tears prickling in the corners of his eyes. G-d, how much of a failure must he be for Seb to not see how much he loves him? How much he thinks of him as his own? How he’s always scared of crossing the line into too much if Seb doesn’t feel the same way. If not for Rebecca and Ross, Aaron would adopt him tomorrow, no hesitation. He didn’t know how much he loved him, until Elise came along, and he realised that the way he felt about her, he felt exactly the same about Seb. How fortunate he felt to play some part in this little miracle. 

“Seb, you daft thing, of course I would! I don’t want you to go either! I just want you to be happy.” His voice is strained but he’s managing to keep the sobbing at bay which is, frankly, an achievement. He tilts Seb head up, gently, with his finger and thumb on Seb’s chin. There are tears in his eyes, too, and all Aaron wants to do is wrap him in his arms and hold him tight.

“But you’ve got Elise!” Seb protests, brokenly.

Aaron shakes his head and sniffs against the tears. “Is that what you think? That now we’ve got Elise we don’t want you?”

Seb shrugs again, and looks away. “I know my dad loves me but I’m not yours. Not properly.” And isn't that just a knife to the chest.

“You are. Seb, you are! Just like Elise, okay? And maybe it’s not legal or official and we’re not blood or anything, but I love you like my own, okay?” Aaron gently turns Seb’s head until he’s looking him in the eye. “I love you. You’re my son just as much as Robert’s if you’re okay with that. And I am so, so sorry if I’ve made you feel like that’s not true, because it is.”

There's a pause and Aaron feats he may have said too much. He's always been scared of this tightrope, wanting to be there for Seb, but desperate not to step on anyone's toes. Robert told him a long time ago that there was nothing to worry about, that he was so happy that Aaron would take care of Seb the way he does, after everything. That he, Aaron, Seb and Liv as a family was all he wanted. But he could only speak for himself, and Aaron has never been brave enough to bring it up with Rebecca or Ross, and least of all Seb. With Elise it's different, it's easy, there's no one going to get upset or start trouble because she's his. But Seb, however Aaron may feel, isn't.

“I love you too, Dad,” Seb replies, and then falls forwards without any semblance of grace (just like his dad - like both of them) into Aaron’s arms, who catches him easily.

They stay like that for a while, Seb crying into Aaron’s shoulder and Aaron rubbing soothing circles into his back as he fighting back his own tears. He’s never felt more ashamed than this, than knowing that for months, nearly a year, maybe even since they announced they were having a baby, Seb had been doubting his love. He’d not even noticed, hadn’t stopped for one second to think that maybe there was more to it all than pre-teen angst. There was an awful knawing at his gut that he’d failed him, and he swore there and then not to let that happen again.

“Um,” Seb says, a little later, pulling away. He smiles - so rare these days, but it immediately makes Aaron feel lighter - as Aaron wipes his the tears still trailing down his cheeks. “Would you be mad if I said actually I want to stay here? Like, not go to Liverpool?”

Aaron almost laughs. “Of course not. We’ll have to talk to your dad, and your mum and Ross first, and you’ll have to promise to start behaving in school, yeah?” 

Seb nods quickly. "I really am sorry about that! I thought that maybe they'd kick me out and I'd go and live with Mum and it'd be easier on everyone."

And that breaks Aaron's heart, too. “Next time just talk to us, any of us, okay? We want to help you. And trust me when I say going about punching people is never the answer. _But_ I think that should be okay. Besides, if you go I’ll be stuck in a house full of girls!”

“What about Dad?”

“He’s the biggest girl there is!”

When Robert gets home later and Seb asks to stay, he pretends to be annoyed. Makes Seb promise he’s sure this time, and that he’ll start working properly at school again in September, and then goes to ring Rebecca to tell her about the change of plans. Luckily nothing concrete had been done by the way of school changes or redecorating, so it’s not too bad. Rebecca is a little disappointed, obviously having been excited about Seb coming to stay, but just like them she’s more concerned that he’s happy.

Later though, when they’re lying in bed and Aaron explains everything to Robert, he doesn’t even try to hide how happy he is that Seb’s staying. He tells Aaron not to be daft, that no one could tell what was going on, that he’s always been an amazing dad to both their kids. Aaron kisses him, but before it can become more, Elise starts crying from her bedroom. Aaron huffs and goes to check on her, still very much wondering about those sacrifices.

The first week of the summer holidays, before Seb goes to stay with Rebecca for a few weeks, they go to Blackpool. It’s Elise’s first time at the sea and she loves the sand. Aaron and Robert watch as Seb takes her paddling in the sea, never going further in than where the water reaches her knees. He’s gentle as he holds her up, the two of them giggling, grinning. Aaron’s changed his mind -  _ that’s  _ the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. 

Later, as they’re walking alongside the beach, Seb spots an arcade and immediately wants a go. “Come on, Dad, this one’s got motorbikes in it, I’m sure!”

“All right, go on then,” Robert says and starts to follow him.

Seb frowns. “Uh, not you. You’re rubbish on the 2p machines. I meant Aaron.”

“Oh, right, I see how it is,” Robert huffs, and Aaron just laughs as he hands Elise over to him and follows Seb into the arcade.

Their family is dysfunctional at best. He and Robert can’t go a day without bickering, Seb’s inherited his father’s temper, and Elise can throw a tantrum better than anyone else Aaron knows. But it’s theirs, so it’s perfect, and Aaron couldn’t want for anything more. 

**Author's Note:**

> this...was a lot better in my head. idk, i'm not sure i really like this but hopefully someone else might?
> 
> so as i've said on previous works i wrote these a lot in advance so while this is only the third fic i've written, this is the seventh day of the series. if you're here having read the others i've written thank you so much! i haven't even written them yet so that means (or will mean) a lot. 
> 
> another huge thank you to @lizzzzoo @howellobrien and @like-the-first-time-i-kissed-you for setting this all up and organising it. i've had fun working with the prompts i've done so far (and look forward to the others). i can't wait to read what everyone else produces either.
> 
> if you wanna leave a comment or a kudos they're much appreciated! especially let me know if there's something you think i forgot to tag! when writing and editing this i sort of gave up with tenses so i've got no idea what this is gonna read like, sorry. 
> 
> i'm taking prompts! if you're interested please drop the prompt in the comments below. if you do send a prompt be prepared for me to take fifty years to fill it because school is so hard (or, i guess, uni now, lol), but i promise i'll try! come say hi on tumblr: [@maddy-does](https://maddy-does.tumblr.com/)
> 
> thanks again for reading, have a wonderful existence.


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